So I still cant really express myself digitally, resizing issues, etcetra but I am trying. Here is a modification of a phone call with my friend The Anthonynaut, adapted into a holiday list of sorts.
1. Ambien will not help you in divorce court, I don't remember I was on Ambien is no longer admissible in court.
1. Ambien will not help you in divorce court, I don't remember I was on Ambien is no longer admissible in court.
2. 15 minute time share vaginas are a great stocking stuffer.
3. The Patriot Act has yet to work in your favor by uploading your private phone calls onto I-Tunes, so any drunken/nog induced dialing - caveat emptor friend.
4. A sure fire way to end any conversation during the holidays is to mention an acquaintance's foray into an open marriage turned into threesomes and being banished to the couch, wife and husband respectively. This leads people to their own insecurities and thoughts of (in)fidelity. This makes everyone quiet so you can reach for the rolls unabashedly and enjoy the silence for the rest of the meal. Honorable mention : For Neo-Con households especially, enthusiastically attempt to explain the concept of gender queer to the more aged/staunch Republicans in the house. Get wine drunk before you induce heart attack. Compliment the tasteful appetizer selection and then go home before your B.A.C becomes fodder for a DUI.
5. Appreciate the ritual, it only happens once a year and unless you live in a big city, the liquor stores are probably closed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7_MYrVzU-Y
3. The Patriot Act has yet to work in your favor by uploading your private phone calls onto I-Tunes, so any drunken/nog induced dialing - caveat emptor friend.
4. A sure fire way to end any conversation during the holidays is to mention an acquaintance's foray into an open marriage turned into threesomes and being banished to the couch, wife and husband respectively. This leads people to their own insecurities and thoughts of (in)fidelity. This makes everyone quiet so you can reach for the rolls unabashedly and enjoy the silence for the rest of the meal. Honorable mention : For Neo-Con households especially, enthusiastically attempt to explain the concept of gender queer to the more aged/staunch Republicans in the house. Get wine drunk before you induce heart attack. Compliment the tasteful appetizer selection and then go home before your B.A.C becomes fodder for a DUI.
5. Appreciate the ritual, it only happens once a year and unless you live in a big city, the liquor stores are probably closed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7_MYrVzU-Y
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