I'm not really liking how the current job market is like last call on a Monday night. I got a call today where the hiring guy sounded like he was trying to convince me to go to Prom with him. "You..., you are a bit over qualified"... Me, "Well, I would like the opportunity to work with you, as I can read and thus understand the alphabet." Him: "Do you think you would like working here" Me: (privately, who the hell cares if I like it, I want to go somewhere other than the mailbox to check my Netflix." I want this to be the decade of no pajamas outdoors.
I remember when we used to bump coke and listen to your I-pod well past the wee hours of the morning. Tweaking in the only gay club in town, smoking two for one cigarettes and getting drunk before we got there in your car. Yeah, it was our playground. The different groups we assembled like the lines in the bathroom and gone just as quickly. I have recently got in touch with our old dealers, users, friends I guess you could call them. His acrylic nails and gelled up hair, my tranny couple neighbors who loved Ruby Tuesday and double entendres, my military roommates with their guns upstairs and our felonies downstairs, all the people who hooked up on that couch, sake bombers, driving two states to gamble and drink, watching the middle aged, middle class charade unravel, finding new ways to be different, Barnes and Noble parking lot and Starbucks ideology. There were funerals. There were things we may never admit but always regret. The erosion of sense as the drugs had kicked, you could pinpoint the moment in our lives when the therapist would cash in. Against the Wind as a soundtrack to our youth that was now miles away.There was some college in there, some shitty jobs. You were pretty constant.
The past days have brought upon a powerful wave of nostalgia. As I type this, I am listening to Oasis' What's the Story Morning Glory. Go figure. I keep thinking about you. And I keep thinking about happiness, in all its fleeting forms. Roman had a bucket on his earlier singing a song while covered in Mac'N Cheese. I suppose these are things. We are present for few events, we get to choose even less. Sometimes a kind word and a forwarded video are going to be the highlights. Things will never be the same and everything ends. I guess it wouldnt kill me to pretend I'm having a good time. Because I do love you. I know what that feels like. And I am meeting new people to these jokes to.
I told you I love you today because I wanted you to know. We have known each other too long for it not to have come up. I am excited about the future, a little bit I guess because in the end we all are pop junkies. Endings, happy or otherwise indicate a story that was told. No better time to start than now.
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