Lost Weekend(With You)

You were always someone I admired. To feel something in this generation, to be proud of wanting to see the silver lining instead of fret about the rainstorm was always inspiring. I was a coward, and you know how I feel about cowards. It is so easy to get the cheap laugh, to want to minimize everything in the hopes you will feel nothing. You were brave, a target in fashionable clothes and I was a drunken archer. I am sorry. I mean, we all have our reasons, justifications, and some come out brighter than others, but I am ashamed of myself for not just saying ALOUD that I prefer our tea drinking and optimism to guttersniping. I know I am good at using my quick wit to cut throats, but it doesnt mean I should succumb to it.

The past year was probably the worst ever, for a lot of reasons. Unemployment, moving and utter isolation will do that. We could have made each other's transitions easier, but like you say, pride cuts both ways.

It is so hard to admit that it is okay to see the bright side. To close the scope to a level that includes only things that will make me smile, rather than piss me off. I am falling for someone and it feels nice. Even if it doesn't last, even if he is just a roadblock to an eventual gravestone, who cares. I have spent so much time just building myself a tower so I don't have to talk to anyone, and yet feel a part of the "common people". Nothing has been gained by the sidelines. I'm finally ready to get messy in humanity.

I finally found a man who likes: me , tea, limes, kids, kittens, to make fun of porn. I asked Adam if liking him made me gay. He said probably, but you need this so I am going to be supportive. A big thank you to all my friends for putting up with so much and getting nothing but cheap laughs in return. One day I'm going to be a great person, and then maybe we can even it out.

I dont like life after Calvin&Hobbes. Sidney Carton losing his head, a violent, bloody mob. I'll find you in the rubble, Making time, making trouble.
Van Gogh was a fan of playing it by ear too.
Taking the high road is a solitary journey most of the time.
"reading your blog is like blowing way too much cocaine" the transcript of infatuation, too hard to be simple. "Is my misunderstanding a dealbreaker" No Solomon, honesty is not a dealbreaker.
All the shows and all the blow, worth it. What a generation of worthless trust fund babies,I can't wait to fucking join them.
"The future! That's yesterday's news!"

I'm drinking a 40, seeing all your faces. I'll never forget you, despite all the spaces.

	The National - Mr November .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine