Things have been rough lately. I like to say rough so I can think of a sea storm, like I am weathering my mediocre middle class problems exacerbated by a simple rhyme scheme. I didnt feel well yesterday and had these strange dreams. In the dream, the narrator (I assume me, but that was never verified) was announcing this recent stranger who for some reason was sleeping with another version of himself in a blue sleeping bag, a Freudian noose. I also was thinking about nooses, graves, bloodshed and other dark terrible things that night. So I want to share this story of something that makes me happy. A Patronus memory, as it were.
When I hear the song Cecilia, I think of this amazing woman who I was friends with who later left her husband after 23 years of marriage to live in New Orleans. That divorce was worse for me than my own parents. But before they divorced, the song came on right before an acid trip in which me and several friends/housemates sang this song a Capella into her answering machine.
There are a few perfect moments, dancing with a tranny in Mexico to Nirvana, eating dinner at a friend's removed relatives house and playing family board games with someone else's family, being in a care with someone you love and doing anything from singing to smoking to drinking to drugs to roadside diners to a Dairy Queen in Indiana to giving your two year old nephew chocolate ice cream and watching the snow while everyone else sleeps. They go by fast, faster than growing up, faster than ashes from burned bridges. If you are lucky, you have so many of them, you can stand to give some away. But if are you like most of us, you cling to the good ones like Mrs. Havisham in a rotting wedding dress.
Yeah, somehow I managed to take a good thing and turn it dark and sour.
http://8tracks.com/obscenester/we-thrive-on-bones-without-them-there-d-be-no-stories
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